Marriage is a two way street – unless you are an abuser who thinks that the whole arrangement is there to benefit you. These stories are about men trapped in marriages where they are essentially treated as cash cows, punching bags, and worse. If you have a story about a marriage like this to share, please let us know in the forum or the comments so we can expand this page.
An Emotional Abuser Forces A Man To Do Her Share Of The Work
“I’ve been married for 7 years to a wife who has struggled to work part time and often complains about doing any housework. We have never had kids and just live in a small apartment. The only things she has been asked to do around the house have been to pick up her messes and empty the dishwasher. That’s it…and I get grief—angry words and looks, being snubbed.
She acts like she’s an angel that everyone loves, but when asked to work she gets upset. I spend money and get blamed for giving things to myself…yet I pay for 90% of the bills. I tell her we can’t spend and it’s somehow my fault she won’t earn.
If I get angry she calls it abuse (never touched her ever), because she’s “scared of me”. FFS, even if I don’t raise my voice she claims fear and abuse. She claims that I twist her words around when I call her BS or ask her to be responsible.
I’m in therapy for this, and I’ve given her one last chance to change. She fails, it’s divorce time. I can’t stake our financial future entirely on myself. I can’t keep prodding her to grow up and get a job. Life is too short and I want to have fun, not parent an irresponsible spouse.
And bonus: how would people react if the husband acted like my wife and our roles were reversed? Totally MRM. There has to be equity or there is no justice.” – Anonymous
Wife and I had been together for about 6 years, and I thought things were okay…except I was insanely stressed out at my job, we had a son, and we both worked a lot. I made most of the money, yet she would work long, late hours at night. I had told her before to slow down or she’d burn herself out…but she kept going. Of course, she blamed me for it. Anyway, in February she walked out, stating that I had hurt her and was abusive…when I asked for specifics, she listed off ADHD symptoms (which I do have). Less than a week later, she was sleeping with other dudes that we both worked with at our side job, and one of the guys at my main job had just become close friends with her (which I didn’t really know) and he would show up at my desk to harass me five minutes after she would scream at me on the phone…every single time. I got laid off from that job, and she told people that I was actually fired (despite the documentation I have showing that I was actually laid off). Her close friends started a smear campaign telling people stuff like “he forced her to work three jobs for a drug habit” which was utterly untrue. Meanwhile, I found out about guy #2, then guy #3 (who had hooked up with a girl in my past while I was interested in her and caused me a lot of heartache), then guy #4 comes along…with criminal past, and she let our kid stay at his house overnight. Of course, when I brought this all up, I get blamed. “You’re more concerned with the whereabouts of my lady parts than how I feel about people.” During the first divorce, she signed an MSA giving me full custody…then dismissed the divorce, hired an attorney, and has filed again. She’s told my secrets (that only she knew) to people…publicly…yelling it at me over the phone while she was at work.
That’s horrendous, and I’m extremely sorry to hear about it – you don’t deserve to be treated that way. If you would like support, please feel free to come over to our Discord server where there are a lot of people who can help you through it. https://discord.gg/gCZTH22
If you would like, I can also add your story directly to the article. Would you be okay with that?