Male or Female, it’s a great thing to celebrate your gender and be proud of it – and Women’s Day is definitely part of that. Every year, children around the world learn about Marie Curie and other wonderful women. Husbands and brothers selflessly celebrate their female friends and family, knowing full well that said friends and family will totally ignore International Men’s Day. Supportive banners and Google Doodles adorn the web, and Patriarchy-made posters of Rosie The Riveter flutter across Twitter like migratory birds. Every company seems involved at this point, and the event only seems to grow. Men shall surely rejoice – because men love and cherish women unconditionally.
But, of course, it wouldn’t be International Women’s Day without invoking one the core traditions of feminism – Man Bashing! Because, honestly, would it really be female empowerment if we didn’t tear down men and boys? Of course not! So, without further ado, let’s kick off some media-endorsed sexism that probably won’t be looked back upon with the horror it deserves! Here are eight things YOU can do to celebrate International Women’s Day!
Get Your School Involved!
By punishing every boy for the imaginary crime of ‘being male’! That’s right! This is a thing! We’re giving every boy arbitrary detention on Woman’s Day because some men are criminals and abusers. All so they can “understand what women have gone through during history”! Of course this is a grossly unfair, pointless, cruel, and technically against the Geneva Convention – but that’s the point! We’ve got to put those nasty little Male Oppressors in their place before they’re bigger than us girls – or ask why their marks are being artificially lowered.
Naturally, the girls won’t be detained in any way on Men’s Day, despite them and their ancestors benefiting from male suffering (past and present). Sometimes very directly. We could honestly never do that sort of thing to girls! It would be deeply unfair to bully that entire gender for something that somebody’s ancestors may (or may not) have done. Any mass-hatred of girls that suddenly appears at said school after the event is totally unrelated, and proof that further brainwashing… cough, I mean, Special Events like these…. are needed.
Side note: ensure that your History teacher explains (very carefully) that men are only dying and suffering en-mass due to Patriarchy rather than men being selfless. After all, if genocides have taught us anything it’s that history has been nothing but wonderful to men. In fact, some reputable media sources might heavily imply that those genocides were a good thing because killing all those nasty evil penis-havers leads to increased female empowerment.
Put Up A Nice Banner!
It’s a lovely idea – especially if the banner carries a traditional Woman’s Day message, such as “Death to men”! You should, of course, be sure to combine this with the previous idea and use the sign to block a school bus. That way every young boy onboard can celebrate Women’s Day along with you!
If you live in a Spanish country (especially Argentina), you could also chant the popular Feminist slogan “Ante la duda, tú la viuda!” – which roughly translates to “When you have a doubt, become the widow!”. Or, in other words, “kill your husband if you feel like it!”. Small boys should be encouraged to google image search this phrase for pictures of woman with knives to stick on their mandatory Women’s Day project folders. Anything to support the cause of equality! No, really. Anything.
Hell, Feminists will even riot through New Mexico and set themselves on fire trying to set men on fire if they’ve got to!
Make a Production Of It!
How about an all female episode of your favourite soap to show people that men aren’t needed? Both ‘Emmerdale’ from the UK and ‘Neighbours’ from Australia chose to celebrate Women’s Day by excluding all their male actors and staff from an episode of their show. Don’t worry though, it’s not because they hate men – they swear. Naturally, there won’t be an all male episode any time soon. After all, an all male episode would be sexist!
Politely Remind Your Husband To Appreciate You!
On ‘Other Mother’s Day’ (Aka International Woman’s Day 2016) a woman tore off one of her husband’s testicles with her bare hands because he forgot to get her flowers and refused to help with the housework. Possibly because his boss screwed him over by handing him a cheap bottle of wine instead of a paycheck. Oh well, I’m sure the emergency surgery and months of pain will teach him about proper flower etiquette.
His wife, like most sane and moral people would be, is of course totally unrepentant and unsympathetic. According to the heroic lady in question, he deserved his punishment for disrespecting her on ‘her day’. In her own words he is “not a proper man” because he did not return with money and flowers. Surely he will show proper respect to the woman he financially supports from now on? and surely she will return that respect!
Be Passive Aggressive!
What’s the best way to celebrate your gender’s very own day? How about scorning men for wondering if they have a similar day to celebrate their own gender! This is a frequent refrain heard every year, along with “every day is men’s day”. Their rage is righteous, quivering, and fully erect. “RIGHT now,” The Sun newspaper seethes “thousands of men are typing a few words into Google”. Clearly a Women’s Day war crime against all female-kind! Of course, The Sun quietly avoids mentioning that men’s day isn’t recognised by any nation or international body. Or that women have nearly a dozen separate ‘Women’s Days’ every year – all of which are enshrined by the UN. Or that searches for Women’s Day outstrip those for Men’s Day almost all year round. That’s not important! Not when men are out there, right now, googling things!
I mean, the nerve!
And it gets even worse!! “Not content with dominating proceedings for 364 days a year, the male of the species is so outraged at having to celebrate women today, they can’t wait to find out which day is officially all about them.” And that’s a very fair point to her – men do dominate those sewer-cleaning jobs like total pros. They are also dominate the homelessness, workplace fatality, murder, and suicide statistics so hard that we have to wonder if women are even trying.
Have A Relaxing Women’s Day Coffee!
Seen in London – this Woman’s Day sign epitomises the heady mixture of passion, ignorance, and tribalism vital to a proud feminist. Approach your Special Gender Day with a passion that borders on jingoistic zealotry! Rub it right in that other gender’s face! And try to ignore the fact that your ideology doesn’t actually believe in gender. Supposedly. Also, do try to ignore the little problem that the Pay Gap has been debunked by:
- Forbes, one of the worlds leading financial authorities, has debunked it several times.
- Harvard, who found that women earn less than men even when wages are identical.
- All the studies showing that it is largely due to women looking after children and making different choices.
- Google underpaying men more than women. Some sources suggest it was deliberate – possibly as part of a fairly innocent attempt to mitigate the ‘Pay Gay’ by rebalancing wages. This is why facts are important.
- The BBC doing the same thing.
Let Everyone Know You Love Equality!
It would not be IWD without a slew of #KillAllMen posts on Twitter and Tumbler proclaiming that men shouldn’t have rights at all. What fun! A clear indicator that some feminists celebrate women the same way the KKK celebrates white people.
Give Men Some Handy Advice!
That advice being to literally “Shut Up”. This noble take on equality is the one favoured by Australian politician Mehreen Saeed Faruqi, whose article on Women’s Day is less a celebration of femininity than an outright ideological attack on all men. The instructions to the male gender are clear: think what we tell you, do what we tell you, and don’t question us. This is a classic ‘Social Engineering’ technique favoured by tyrants – make anyone who might criticise you feel too afraid and unworthy to do so. That way, you simply cannot be told you are wrong when you are wrong.
Choice quotes from the article include: “Solidarity requires a willingness to listen, learn and — crucially — shut up. It means being ok with staying behind the scenes and leaving the space wide open for women to take centre stage.” And the hilariously ironic: “[Feminism] cannot shut out women’s voices, especially those that are traditionally sidelined by mainstream movements”. Never let them be accused of consistency! Take note, however – the view that men should be totally powerless is one that we discovered before in this article.
It is an utterly extreme view that is antithetical to equality, but which is proudly proclaimed in its name. What would they do, I wonder, if we said that women have to “shut up” on International Men’s Day? After all, they’re already trying to co-opt it to talk about men who domestically abuse women. Doubtless they would be mad, and it would be funny. However, that’s not even on the table for MRAs. Unlike feminism, our movement is one where both men and women can speak out – equally.
Or, Alternatively, Enjoy Woman’s Day Like An MRA
You may be wondering what MRAs like us are doing to celebrate IWD – aside from being really sarcastic about how Feminists celebrate it, I mean. Well, the truth is we don’t begrudge women a special day whatsoever. In fact, we’re trying to set an example by celebrating it the right way on the Men’s Rights Sub. We honestly don’t mind at all. However, our attitude is that society should also celebrate fathers day and international men’s day too, and not treat these special days as an excuse to do the above. If you don’t, then you will find that many men also opt out of Women’s Day because of how they are treated.
Food for thought.
Want To Find Out More?
Feel free to check out our news feed at the Men’s Rights Reddit. Do you have an issue that affects you, or a male family member? We are here and ready to support you on the Men’s Human Rights Discord Server. All are welcome in our communities – regardless of gender, sexuality, race, or religion.
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